Before I gave my whole heart to God, I was busy pretending that my marriage was fine—just fine! God had been speaking to me for quite some time, but I had not been listening. I was too busy thinking I could fix my marriage. So, I continued to pretend everything was fine and that my relationship with God was fulfilling. It was just more convenient for me to ignore the fact that nothing I was doing was fixing anything. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not fix my life. Still, God patiently waited and let me try until I grew weary of the effort. After fifteen years of trying, I was exhausted.
When I finally decided to give my brokenness to God, He was right there for me. Suddenly, my prayers began to change. I prayed for God to help me know what to do. It was becoming increasingly impossible for me to continue in the lie I had been living. I was about to find out how impossible, one day, when I heard God’s voice call me out on a lie. I had been lying so long it had become second nature to me. As embarrassing as this is to me, I’ll share with you what God had to do to finally get my attention.
It was a day, much like any other workday in my salon. There I was, working on a client when she asked what seemed like an innocent question. “So, how are you and Jon doing, Diane?”
“Oh, fine. We’re fine,” I lied, and that’s when I heard God’s voice reprimanding me.
“No, you’re not. You’re lying. You are lying to yourself and everyone else.”
This was not a thundering voice from heaven that I heard, but rather the matter-of-fact normal tone of truth. God knew the truth of His words would be shocking enough; there was certainly no need for dramatics. It’s the truth sometimes that is the very jolt we need to open our ears to God’s voice.
God wants you to bring your burdens to Him, to stop living a life of pretense. We are unable to control everything that happens to us, and it gets so tiresome to keep trying to pretend everything is wonderful when you feel so burdened. However, when we finally let go and let God work His miracles in our lives, He does not disappoint! God is always ready and waiting to restore our hearts to Him, helping us to live in truth and enjoy the fullness of His love.